Summer is here but Matt is experiencing a brief winter moment.

What the hell happened this week? Why do I feel like I’m recovering from being hit by a truck? As much as people complain about working 9-5, and as much as I know I did when I did it, it gives you structure. Sometimes you wind up in this place where you’re struggling just to get out of your apartment. “What’s he talking about?” Let me start at the beginning.

The stars aligned this week to deliver me with lots of bad news. During the Tony Awards I found out I might lose my apartment — I just got a bed finally from my cousin when he moved to Portland. Yes, that wasn’t so great. I miss my cousin. The apartment struggle went on for a few days and then seemed to fizzle as if it was never an issue. I’m still not convinced that I’ve heard the last of it. Then everyone I’ve ever known in my life came to me with stories of breakups, death, depression, drugs, and the dreaded loss of a job. I actually lost a friend because apparently I wasn’t sympathetic enough to the job loss situation. A part of me didn’t care, it was too much for me to process in one week.

You see, I had things I was dealing with — and I always do. My chosen profession makes me somebody banks don’t want to deal with. It’s impossible for me to get an apartment in this city without subletting. I think I’m very talented but you’re always asking yourself, even when you are working as I am, will I ever achieve that level? But when people start talking about their losses, I often realize that Read the rest of this entry »